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Now I’m An Alcoholic

I am not the world’s greatest F*ck Up. I was getting there slowly though. Nobody starts an addiction by being destructive. It starts slowly and harmlessly and gradually escalates towards more risky behaviors. I drank every day for two and half years. I drank through flus and timed it around breastfeeding, I drank on trips,…

White Guilt And A Patchwork Quilt

My dad is an immigrant with a permanent resident Status that he acquired when President Reagan loosened the application restrictions in 1986, creating immigrant amnesty. (Reagan was today’s Democrat or something. I don’t know, because I was three.) My dad is Greek, just like my Big Fat Greek Wedding.  He’s also kind of racist; you…

An Homage And A Tearful Goodbye

I was a really nervous fourth grader; even as a child I hated new experiences. The butterflies were never exciting ones, they were always weighted down inside of my cockles with dread. This particular day we were taking a class field trip to a local private school to do a workshop with kids from another…

I Punched My Husband In the Face

We unloaded the kids from the minivan after our weekly family date night at the pizzeria. After we shuffled them all inside and started to wash the tomato sauce off of them in the tub, we sat them in front of the TV to watch their favorite show; America’s Funniest Home Videos. My two year…

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

I lost my mind today, as I’m prone to doing. But I usually keep my crazy under lock and key behind the wooden door of my house.  I save my crazy for the special people who love me and are legally bound to me. Today I lost my mind on a perfect stranger on a…

The Disorienting Reality Of ADD

I would do just about anything to avoid calling my doctor. It doesn’t matter if I’m calling a physician or OBGYN, I absolutely hate having to deal with a receptionist who puts me through to a nurse who is never available and then I have to listen to the eight hundred myriad of options on…

I Called Off Birthday Parties, For Now

I enjoy parties, having guests, cleaning up the house and pretending that it always looks that nice. I have always loved hosting, making people feel loved and welcome in my home, putting the expensive cheese on the one nice plate and using an opportunity to dress up. I even totally love kids parties, getting to…