I Can’t Keep Calm, I’m a Mom

It’s just a little shit fit. No big deal. Every weekend my husband is home from work. Every weekend I make sure and take my three year old out for some big kid time with mom, the baby doesn’t tag along and the big kid is free to drink his own smoothies and run at the park without his little brother getting in the way. It always ultimately helps the family bond. Our favorite smoothie place is this super expensive local food […]

What’s That Smell? Oh, It’s Wal-Mart

I hate shopping. That’s actually a bold-face lie that needs clarification. I hate shopping with my kids and I hate shopping at Wal-Mart. There is a Wal-Mart ten minutes away from my house and a Target twenty minutes away from my house in the opposite direction. Typically the ten minute difference is worth the trip to Target. If you’re a shopper who pays attention, you know there is a difference when shopping in those monstrous box stores. There are days when I […]

A New School Year, Same Old Mom

“A new school! A new school year! You’re getting so big!” I have been excitedly ramping up for tomorrow since June. We knew our current daycare/school situation was probably circling the drain and heavy budget cuts were coming, along with the potential for closings. We took an opportunity to jump with two feet out of uncertainty and find a new preschool program for our budding, um, genius, artist, athelete, sand-throwing, foot-stomping, hotdog-eating Chucky Doll. We scored a spot in a little private […]

That Time My Kid Puked at The Beach

“Play monster! Do the monster!” The kids were squealing at me, absolutely delighted to be chased in the water. I was delighted to have a reason to fully submerge myself, escape the heat and hide my Orca shaped pregnant “glow” in the cool lake. It was Labor Day, the unofficial last day of summer. Half of the kids are already in school by then but that one last long weekend before September sets in deep just begs to be used to its […]

Expect The Unexpected and All The Other Shit The Books Don’t Say About Toddlers

What to expect, the toddler years. I’ll tell you what to expect that the book may or may not cover. I don’t actually know what is in that book since I haven’t read my copy, because nobody with a toddler has time to sit and read a reference book that is the size of a phone book. That’s what google is for. Walking still presents challenges for your little one, but none that they can see. They’ll walk confidently off of a […]

The Social Media Intervention I Gave Myself

It’s not you, it’s me. Well, it’s probably a little bit you. You suck me in; pull me with all of the gravitational pull of a second moon. When you’re in a bad mood, I am in a bad mood. On your good days, you’re so good. I feed off of the good; the good makes my sprit come alive. It’s the bad, the bad has me checking in every five minutes and responding to negativity with more intense negativity. You’re too […]

The Truth About Maternity Pants. The Panel Decoded

I have experimented with every type of waistband on the market to make my baby-bearing, hip-expanding, child-rearing experiences easier, and less itchy. I have found exactly zero pairs of maternity pants that I am not completely sick of wearing after an hour.  Here I have broken down the name of each type of pant in real-world terms that they won’t tell you on the tag. Full Panel- This extra-long and stretchy piece of spandex-lycra-poly mystery blend will hike up over your belly […]

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