That Time My Kid Puked at The Beach

“Play monster! Do the monster!” The kids were squealing at me, absolutely delighted to be chased in the water. I was delighted to have a reason to fully submerge myself, escape the heat and hide my Orca shaped pregnant “glow” in the cool lake. It was Labor Day, the unofficial last day of summer. Half…

The Truth About Maternity Pants. The Panel Decoded

I have experimented with every type of waistband on the market to make my baby-bearing, hip-expanding, child-rearing experiences easier, and less itchy. I have found exactly zero pairs of maternity pants that I am not completely sick of wearing after an hour.  Here I have broken down the name of each type of pant in…

When Enough is Enough. Accepting Limitations

On the twenty-third week of my third pregnancy it occurred to me that I am scared. After a particularly long weekend of running errand after errand with errant kids in tow and wrapping up our weekly odds and ends, I found myself standing at the dining room table set for Sunday dinner, screaming. Screaming in front…

Great Expectations, a gender reveal

Off of the heels of a very successful sonogram appointment my husband kisses me goodbye with tears in his eyes. We both grin like idiots, still not totally sure what to say. He drives off for work, and I rock the baby to sleep, alone with my thoughts. We’ve had two previous children, with two…

No More Happy Meals, EVER!

Have you ever had a “Mommy Dearest” moment, stopping just short of throwing cheeseburgers out of your car window as you drive down the freeway? “No more happy meals! Pee in your cup, I am not stopping this car one more time!” That’s me, being an awesome mom to my own kids and a care…

Goldfish, Baby Gates and the Second Born

It is the often joked about tale of the second child; the second child will be the one you forget in the house as you drive off in your car. Your second child will be the one that you feed GMO’s to directly off of your kitchen floor while you do the dishes. Your second…

Varicose Woes

As the heat of June gathers momentum and melts into the haze of July, I am forced to reckon with them. Like a showdown in a dusty western film from the days of ole, “This here town ain’t big enough for the both of us.” My shorts sit neatly folded at the bottom of a…